Have you lost the room?
You’ve worked hard to lead your team effectively, but lately, something feels off. Perhaps you’ve noticed a change in the way your team members interact with you, or maybe you’ve spotted a drop in enthusiasm during team meetings.
If you can relate to these experiences, you might be wondering if you’ve lost the room — that once-strong connection with your team that helped you to lead with ease…now feels like an uphill struggle.
You’re not alone — many leaders find themselves in a similar situation at some point in their careers. The good news is that recognising the signs early on gives you the opportunity to course-correct and get back on track.
In this article, I’ll explore three signs that might indicate you’ve lost the room followed by some actionable (and some practical) strategies to help you rebuild trust and regain connection with your team.
#1 Dwindling Engagement
Team members who once actively participated in discussions and projects now seem disengaged and uninterested. They may avoid speaking up or contributing ideas, making team meetings feel lackluster.
What can you do about it?
Start by spending some time thinking about what could be behind the waning engagement.
For example, did you shut someone down recently? Are you overloading people? Or have you unintentionally created an environment where some team members feel their ideas aren’t valued?
Now might be the time to consider a ‘reset and recharge’ day where you all take some time to do a bit of team-building. Here are some practical tools:
You could run this Personal User Manual exercise
Conduct a problem-solving and team collaboration exercise (I love the Marshmallow Challenge)
Set aside time for an appreciation circle, where team members take turns expressing their gratitude and recognising each other’s contributions. I like to use the At My Best Strengths Cards for this
#2 You’re finding out about mistakes third-hand
You used to pride yourself on having an open-door policy where anyone in the team could come to you and share any concerns they were having. Lately, however, you’ve noticed on more than one occasion mistakes are being made and you’re the last to find out.
What can you do about it?
First, revisit your communication channels. Have you carved out enough time to catch up? Beyond progress updates?
Sometimes we’re so busy we fall into a routine of only catching up on progress and not the stuff behind the scenes that helps us to get there. Schedule regular check-ins with team members to discuss progress, challenges, and any potential issues they might be facing.
Next — take some time out to think about the mistakes you’ve come across. What themes can you gather from these? If you were a scientist…what would your hypothesis be? What does that tell you about your leadership, or where the team is at?
Here are some practical tools to help you:
Check out my infographic on embracing the art of anti-perfect
Consider trying a ‘premortem’ as a team next time you’re about to kick off a project to provide a safe space to explore failure
Introduce a ‘learning moment’ slot into your team meeting agenda where each person is invited to share a lesson they’ve learned that month. Start with you to foster a sense of connection and authenticity
#3 People are going over your head
Another sign that you may have lost the room is when team members start bypassing you and going over your head to discuss issues or seek approvals. This can be a challenging situation to handle as it undermines your authority and quite honestly, makes you feel pretty rubbish! Not to mention this might be ringing alarm bells elsewhere…
What can you do about it?
Firstly, don’t ignore it. And secondly (and importantly) don’t bite! Take a deep breath and approach the situation in a space of curiosity and assume good intent. Be curious, and seek to understand their reasons for going over your head. Is there something they feel they couldn’t discuss with you? What might they be seeking elsewhere that you aren’t providing? Can you fix that?
It’s likely the person they’ve gone over your head to is your boss. So, why not ask for some time out with them and ask for their advice? What would they do in your situation? What feedback can they share about what might be causing this? How can they support you to remedy this?
Here are some practical things you can also try:
You could use the AIR feedback framework to help you move forward with the team member
You could ask for some feedback on your leadership presence which would give your team some space to share where they see you adding value, and tips for enhancing that value. Check out the Strengthscope 360 tool
The Atlassian Roles and Responsibilties play could help you to reset what they need and expect from you
Conclusion
Losing the room with your team can be challenging, but it’s not irreversible. By recognising the signs early on and taking proactive steps to rebuild trust and connection, you can regain that bond with your team.
Remember to:
Invest time in team-building activities and create opportunities for appreciation and recognition
Prioritise open communication and encourage regular check-ins to prevent misunderstandings
Promote transparency and feedback to create a culture of openness and learning
Reconnecting with your team might take time and effort, but the rewards of a cohesive and engaged team are well worth it.
If you need guidance or support in this process, I’m here to help you with some of the things I’ve covered in this article: team-building days, 360 profiles, and leadership coaching. Feel free to reach out to me here or connect with me on LinkedIn.
